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sex and depression

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Oct. 18th, 2011 | 01:06 pm

been mega depressed since my grandma died. the only thing really cheering me up is my boyfriend. he doesn't try to make me talk about it, he just tries to make me smile. which is nice. most everyone else either doesn't give a shit, or cares too much and wants to make me talk about it. D:< it fucking pisses me off. it's like "fucking cunts I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!" AND my other grandma is coming into town on the 26th and it's making me feel fucking guilty. :(

so, i spent from friday afternoon to monday morning at my boyfriends house. now, i've never really written about what we do when i'm over there, so i figured i'd fill you in on my weekends. pretty much we watch anime, cuddle, sleep, watch music videos, and have sex. lots. of. sex.

the problem with so much sex is that it is ever so hard for me to be quiet, i'm always terrified that his sisters or mom will hear me. D:< it's awkward. his sister walked in on me sitting around in my undies in his room. why she didn't knock, i'll never know. ANYWAY BACK ON MY FUN TIMES THIS WEEKEND! sadly, i only get the secks on the weekends now, since i'm living so far away from the boy. what's interesting about him is that he's always making sure it feels good for me, it's not just all about him. unlike my past boyfriend, M, he doesn't just pull down my pants when i tell him i don't feel like it.

M was a terrible boyfriend. he pretty much raped me. that's how i lost my virginity. not a fun way to lose that. and because of my pyscological issues, my dumb ass stayed with him. for months. current boyfriend doesn't understand. he doesn't get it. i'm not sure that anyone would actually believe me if i tried to tell them, since the love of my life has a hard time with it.

however, current boyfriend, D, is an amazing boyfriend. he's sweet, nice, considerate, (he puts up with my love of terrible horror movies. human centipede, anyone?) and he actually cares about me. and he's amazing in bed. granted, he was a virgin when we started going out, and i stole his virginity, but that's beside the point. he's gotten really, really good at sexual touching-ness. for some reason, he actually LIKES going down on me. o.O i was like, oh um *blush* um you don't have to really it's fine, blah blah blah, in the beginning, but he actually just likes pleasing me. *_* it was really weird at the start, because i didn't know what it was like to have sex that felt good/didn't make me feel ashamed, but yeah. oh, and he's always telling me how pretty i am and stuff. ^.^ he's really, really sweet.


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Comments {2}

Wow

heartfeltstains

From: heartfeltstains
Date: Jan. 25th, 2012 11:09 am (UTC)
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Looking through your journal and it's pretty wow. I just started mine up last month and I can't say I've found 1 that relates to me more than yours. It's so cute and full of emotion. I think we'd be great friends. Now about this post....

You took his virginity? That's just adorable! I think you have an epic love story ahead of you missy and I hope you see it through to the end.

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Re: Wow

eatyourwordsnow

From: eatyourwordsnow
Date: Jan. 26th, 2012 01:24 pm (UTC)
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i'm looking forward to reading your posts. :) yes, i took his virginity, hah. an epic love story sounds quite enjoyable. ^~^

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